I love and admire poetry, but have never been able to write a really good poem.  I’ve tried many times.  I’ve even been published in school magazines! But I attribute those few pathetic publications to either a dearth of better material or the fact that I was editor! The one simple poetic form that my mind fully embraces is – the limerick.  So this page is a paean to the limerick.  No person exists no matter how tin his ear, who cannot write a limerick! 

In grade school I wrote:

Mrs. Astorbilt once had a poodle,
She fed him on apple strudel.
He became temperamental;
Wouldn’t eat beans or lentils,
So they shot him right through the noodle! 

I offer here a few of my favorite limericks; except for Edward Lear in the 19^th Century, limericks are usually attributed to that nervous, shy Latin poet, Anonymous.

There was a young woman named Rose,
Who had a large wart on her nose.
When she had it removed;
Her appearance improved,
But her glasses slipped down to her toes. 

A maiden at college – Miss Breeze
Weighed down by B.A.’s and Lit. D’s
Collapsed from the strain
Said the doctor, “It’s plain  –
You are killing yourself by degrees!” 

There once was a sculptor named Phidias
Whose sculptures by most were thought hideous
He carved Aphrodite
Without any nightie
Which shocked all the fussy fastidious!  

A canner exceedingly canny,
One day remarked to his granny:
“A canner can can
Anything that he can,
But he can’t can a can, can he?” 

A mouse in her room woke Miss Dowd
She was frightened it must be allowed.
Soon a happy thought hit her
To scare off the critter;
She sat up in bed and meowed! 

A tutor who tooted the flute
Tried to tutor two tooters to toot
Said the two to the tutor,
“Is it harder to toot – or
To tutor two tooters to toot?”

A professor named KLASS, SOLOMON SHEILA
Sought great verse, that would to students appeal-a
She poured as she pored;
Growing increasingly bored,
And passed out from excessive tequila!